Category: Fashion

chicken cutlets and a 3 day growth

30 DAYS OF CALM: Day Twenty Two

| karin

Activities: Mindfulness

 

Feelings: Present in the earth

 

Thoughts: My task for the day was to be mindful of myself as I went through my daily business. The point of mindfulness is to eliminate the feeling of missing out on life because you’re aware of yourself being alive as you’re being alive. It really equates to just noticing things and enjoying them. Usually I don’t notice I’m alive until something very strange or unexpected happens, like missing the last stair or getting dacked at a party. Luckily I had a particularly bizarre day to notice.

 

I was being a simulated patient in a training hospital where my job was to spook the pants off trainee doctors by growling at them while they operated on me. It’s a fun job and, you know, fulfilling because I get to shout but also help a generation of surgeons become more empathetic. It’s a fun but slow day, I have to lie in the hospital bed and do my best hulk impression, then lunch.

 

I was frequently left alone while my nurse friend went to console the shattered trainees and instead of my usual grumbling I mindfulnessed myself into enjoying my surroundings. The hospital bed was cosy and warm, the clouds rolled lazily by my window, my fake open wound clung snugly to my arm. I thought of how lucky I was to have such a bizarre job and how tasty the calamari salad they gave us for lunch was, I thought of how the procession of shell-shocked surgeons proved how good I was at my job.

 

Consciously enjoying things made me grateful for them. This put good thoughts in my head and made me feel good. Yes, I was annoyed that I’d had to pay $32 for parking in the city, but I also felt glad to be alive to pay for anything at all. Plus, I didn’t feel the need to check my phone every twenty seconds to make sure nothing interesting was happening elsewhere that I was missing out on, I was glad to be where I was, making doctors sad. Later in the day I went to a play and mindfully enjoyed standing outside waiting for it to start. I watched every single other person as they jabbed violently at their phones, all anxious that they weren’t doing enough, none comfy just standing and waiting. It was funny looking at how badly we want to encompass the whole of existence in our heads at the same time, while not wanting to take a moment just to stand.

 

Here’s me in the hospital. It’s a barrel of fun!

Experiments, Fashion

30 DAYS OF LADY: Day Fifteen

| karin

Hair/Makeup Time: 5 mins

 

Duties: Laundry/Theatre Sneaking

 

Thoughts: HUMP DAY! Lady month is half way through, I’ve come so far but there’s so much more to go. I chose to celebrate by doing the laundry. My usual method is to dump all the clothes in together on the hot cycle and as long as I don’t put that stupid maroon towel in there and turn everything maroon, it works out fine. New challenges have arisen now that I’m working with much crapper quality clothing. In the past two weeks I’ve bought five new tops with a combined value of about $30. They ain’t made of kevlar. The tops all come with very strict washing instructions which I feel compelled to follow because I can see how flimsy the poor things are. I did a dark load for all my jeans, blacks, socks etc; and a light load for whites, fleshes, knickers etc. I hit a conundrum with my navy and white striped beach t shirt. It’s half way between! What do I do?!

 

Laundry done, I headed into the activities of the day with a pair of brown jeans and a see-through singlet with a black shrug over the top. I put on a tiny pinch of makeup and just bowed quietly to my now over-grown hair and left it to forge its own destiny. It decided to flop into an imitation of Hitler’s side part, but as it is now evil hair I thought it styled itself appropriately.

 

Activities of the day included going to Grant Street Theatre to watch play readings from the VCA’s Writing For Performance students. Afterwards we ninja’d across to the Malthouse and bluffed our way into the opening night party for Wild Surmise. There was free booze and snacks (which was awesome coz I hadn’t had dinner), and my sexy man friend and I know enough about theatre that we could discuss the play we hadn’t seen with great aplomb. Luckily, dressing like a lady meant that I was prepared for the sneaky soiree and I didn’t feel under-dressed. I felt like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. Blending into a high-end theatre party is 90% how you look, 10% what you judiciously avoid saying.

 

Here’s a photo of me with an ill-gotten beer. Heil Hair!

 

And here’s one that Em took earlier that day that I think is hilarious…

Experiments, Fashion

30 DAYS OF LADY: Day Fourteen

| karin

Makeup/Hair time: 30 minutes – mainly on hair.

 

Duties: Corporate Stooge/Sexy Mama

 

Thoughts: Bad hair day!!! The crap thing about short hair is that about 6 weeks after your haircut, even if your hair is healthy and sleek, you can’t manage it any more. One morning it will hit a critical length where it’s overgrown the cut and it can’t do all the stuff you’ve been training it to do. That morning was Day Fourteen. I blasted it with the ionic hairdryer and nothing happened. I smothered it with my best wax and it just limped at awkward angles like the blacked remains of a burnt out forest. If I’d left it alone it might’ve been fine but I’d already started pushing it into spikes so and when I tried to smooth it down again, it left a huge bald patch at the part. Em saved the day with a fancy pink ribbon. It cut through the worst of it and drew the eye away from the horror above.

 

I spent the day in high-powered business meetings and helping orthoptics exams. (Yes, I’m an optical genius too.) I decided to dress “corporate casual” which is a genre of clothing that I just invented. I bought a pair of flower print jeans from Cotton On and wore them with a black camisole and black cardigan. This marks the first time in my life when I’ve bought something because I saw it in a magazine. I am both ashamed and proud, like when you kiss your friend’s brother or poop your pants for a dare. It worked ok as an ensemble because my standard Melbourne Black was broken up with a violent pair of jeans.

 

In the evening we had a photo shoot for the upcoming non-christmas-related Christmas Show I’m a part of. I had to dress sexy so I doubled my makeup and slapped on a wonderful dress that my seamstress pal made for me this year. She’s a genius because the dress is tight but not clingy and cleavagey without being booby. I hid the bad hair bald patch with a big red flower that Em lent me. Em is clever at hair.

 

I’m sure pictures from the shoot will start emerging soon, so here’s one of me leaving for work in my floral wonderpants with terrible, terrible hair…

Experiments, Fashion

30 DAYS OF LADY: Day Thirteen

| karin

Hair/Makeup: 5 mins

 

Duties: Lady of Leisure

 

Thoughts: Today was another day of homework. Writing, working and sitting in the sun. On a usual day I would have slapped the trackky dacks on, regardless of the weather, but since it was such a lovely day I decided to wear a pretty dress and a slight brush of makeup while working outside.

 

I started reading my Cleo from September and my Comso from last year with the expectation was that it would promote slimness or long-leggedness or long hair-edness. To my surprise though, the focus is not so much on changing yourself as working with what you have and making it look nice. To be fair, their definition of “nice” is a bit narrow, but they don’t condemn fatties or skinnies or baldies as lost causes. I’ve been in a fat swing for this entire month. I came back from Europe a bit chubsy and haven’t bothered recovering, but the good thing about lady month is that by forcing myself to dress up I don’t feel like I’m having “fat days”. I present myself as cool and sexy by judiciously picking my outfits to hide the chub, and my brain catches up slowly to the idea that I look nice. On the other hand, feeling “fat” is a big motivation for me to exercise more and eat better – so lady month might be keeping me chubsy! I’m eating a muffin as I’m typing!

 

The other odd thing I noticed when I went shopping for pants is I’ve been buying M sized clothes. Usually, even if I’m feeling skinny I instinctively grab for the L sizes and the 12-14’s. But this month I’ve been a bit braver and gone M and 10-12. Maybe this is making me feel less fat as well.

 

Now, if you’re tempted to get all commenty and say, “I’ll counsel you for your body dysmorphia!” or, “Fuck off, I’m size 14 don’t insult me.” I know I’m not a furry land whale. But I think every person has an internal gauge for when they feel healthy and sleek in their bodies. At the moment I’ve got a bit extra flab on board that I don’t usually have, but due to dressing myself up and forcing myself to look in the mirror I’m not worrying about my body as much. I’m appreciating my cute nose a bit more and I’m glad for my boobs and hips. I think that because I usually don’t place any value on my appearance I don’t appreciate what I have. Lady month is helping me understand and forgive my body a bit more and not take the pretty things about me for granted.

 

Working in the sun…

Awesome, Experiments, Fashion

30 DAYS OF LADY: Day Ten

| karin

Hair/Makeup time: 10mins

 

Duties: BEACH, work, BEACH!

 

Thoughts: Today was day two at the beach. Once again I dressed in a beachy top and little shorts that I made by cutting up some old jeans, and once again I was thwarted. I didn’t plan this journey too well. Before the trip I’d thought “I’ve only got two hours of work on Saturday, I’ll just nip to St Kilda and do them then come back for more beach.” Pity I’d forgotten that work was a two hour drive away. I left the house with my sunglasses and beach bag at 9am and only made it home from work at 4pm. Once again, I used up my fine beach fashions on sitting in the car.

 

The sun was still shining when I got back so we thought it might be fun to take a walk down to the sea. We sauntered off the back porch and down the steep overgrown steps towards the water. The waterfront at low tide looked like soft, inviting sand banks with little streams flitting over the surface. Turned out it was a maze of boggy quicksand and pointy rocks. I was very glad my little shorts were so little, we were up to our knees in black gloop before we decided to turn back. Amazingly, after all that, my lady toes were still pink. I’m not sure if I won the test by having lady toes in the face of muck, or lost by walking into the muck to begin with.

 

 

The rest of the day was pleasantly beach related. I received via text a challenge from my lady mentor. I was to perfect the “duckface selfie”, a staple of young ladies worldwide. Here is a montage of my attempts. They were taken on the back porch so please feel free to envy my beach proximity.