Difficulty Rating: I’d say 5 for having my finger on the pulse, but subtract 1 because parades in New Orleans are as plentiful as sarcastic, tattooed baristas in Melbourne.
The theme of the parade was “The Summer Of Love – Tie-Dye Me Up” so there were plenty of hippies and semi-naked people, but also, inexplicably, lots and lots of Sci-Fi characters and a hearty group of Bernie Sanders supporters. The real winners of the night were the owners of a convenience store on the corner of Oak and Carrollton streets. The line for their checkout snaked all the way through the shop and each patron stood clutching more snacks and alcohol than they could feasibly carry. One lady proved this by smashing a six pack of coronas she’d just bought in the doorway of the shop. In the spirit of Free Month, I approached the assistant tasked with cleaning the spill and offered to help him dispose of the remaining un-smashed bottles. He shrugged and I walked off with two free coronas! I am not too proud to drink floor beer.
“To gain the greatest treasures one must sink to the lowest depths” – Hobo Proverb
The parade was as short as it was silly and soon devolved into a happy, rambling street party; much to the chagrin of the residents who’d forgotten the parade was on and we’re trying to drive home through it. My Dear Neighbour was given Apple whiskey by a cow with a beard and fireworks burst around us as we waited for the streetcar. Some very clever people had decided to ride two horses to the parade but the poor beasts were spooked by the fireworks, flashing lights and intense partying. They reared and leapt backwards from the noises, pooping in fear and cutting a wide circle out of the crowd. They were hastily lead away once it became evident that someone was about to get trampled.
Ain’t no party like a horse poop party
I think that New Orleans is going to be a great city for this challenge, not least because crazy events like this seem to spring up like mushrooms in a left-field, but also because there’s so much history and majesty in this town that just walking down the street feels like an important adventure. Also, people here are very nice. I’m going to try to fill this blog with things you could try at home (if your home is in New Orleans) but I can’t rule out the likelihood that someone here will give me a free drink or a free meal or a free jeep just because it’s that good ol’ southern hospitality!
Hang on. Someone just sneezed. It’s time for another parade!
